A boring post, I need to write for my own piece of mind. Boring, but real.
The last time I posted was RSD… I won’t go into the depths of my always dramatic life, but my life has been madness since then. At that time, Phoebe was with her Grandparents for 2 weeks, to spend time with her Dads family and I was exhausted and struggling a fair bit, so I desperately needed a break. We all get along really well and they’re so helpful, but this situation caused some problems in my life, I’m not going to get into the ins and outs but although at the time it was horrific, however! Good has come out of it, I am mentally in a great place compared to then, and everything’s just going a bit better. I’ve taken the time since then for just Phoebe and myself and to figure out where I need to be. I decided to make a change with a few things, like church, work and my university.
I’ve taken a step back from church for a while, although I believe in the majority of it, and LOVED the people there, I didn’t feel as if I was being true to myself, I wasn’t as happy as I could be. I am me, I drink, I drink tea, I swear, I have a boyfriend, and although that’s not the main reasons for taking a step back, I was unhappy in myself trying to be someone i’m not. Everybody’s relationship with God is different and personal and nobody should feel constantly under pressure to be perfect or to fit in with a certain group of people. I hope one day I can figure out my relationship with God but it takes time, i’m young and these things take time and experience. I believe I got caught up in the moment spending a lot of time with missionaries and growing to be super close friends with them, but i’m so glad i’ve done it and met them because everyone i’ve met threw the church and inspirational and amazing people, and I totally have heaps of respect for them.
I have NO clue what I want to do in life, I know something arty but I think i’ve learnt something about myself that I LOVE creating things, but things that are personal to me, anything else I have no interest in. I haven’t fully decided yet but I think I might quit UNI for now, for the fact that I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to put pressure on myself for something I don’t love 100 percent.
& so much is happening with The Music Box (our shop) at the moment, but thats another boring post for another day. SO to conclude this deep ass post, i’ve felt lost for so long i’m making sure everything I do is because it makes me happy and taking control of my life.
I love Phoebe, making art, exploring family and MUSIC. So from now on that’s all that my life will be.